


Promises of Little Dragons

by MissBooGirl



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Architect Hanzo, Domestic Fluff, EVERYONE IS ALIVE AND HAPPY, Established Relationship, Fluff, Jesse Is The Absolute Best Boyfriend, M/M, Pregnancy, Trans Hanzo Shimada, Trans Male Character, family au, park ranger mccree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2018-12-27 13:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12082176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBooGirl/pseuds/MissBooGirl
Summary: Hanzo Shimada and Jesse McCree have been together for three years, and they'd like to add to their happy little family. They start with two Akita Inu puppies, but soon discover those won't be the only new additions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna tell you right now, Hanzo gets pregnant in this AU.

It was a quiet afternoon in Hanzo and Jesse’s apartment, the only noise coming from the scratching of Hanzo’s pencil and the occasional rubbery sound of him erasing a line he didn’t quite like. He was working furiously on a new building design, one that was due in a week or two, but he wanted to have it done early to get revisions in. That, and Jesse hadn’t come home yet to distract him, so now was the perfect time to get work done. He was so entranced in his drawing that he didn’t hear the door open and Jesse call his usual greeting, nor the heavy footsteps that came up behind him.

"Hey, darlin’.” The sudden drawling voice, along with hands that wrapped around his waist, nearly made Hanzo jump through the ceiling. The only reason he didn’t was because his head collided into Jesse’s chin with a loud crack, the both of them instantly recoiling and groaning from the accidental head butt.

“You _scared_ me,” Hanzo mumbled as soon his dull pain subsided, turning in his chair to face a very pouty Jesse, “and you made me draw a hideous craggy line across my paper. Now the _entire_ drawing is ruined and I must start again from the beginning!” Hanzo voice was sarcastic as he folded his arms with a dramatic flourish, trying to give his best “Shimada Scowl,” as Jesse had come to so fondly call it. After a short and playful stare down between the two, Hanzo reached out and cupped Jesse’s jaw, coaxing him to let Hanzo look at where he had collided into him. “I am sorry for that, are you alright?”

“I dunno,” Jesse leaned into Hanzo’s hand as he spoke, his lopsided grin never leaving his lips, “I might need to get some pretty intense reconstructive surgery, but hopefully I’ll live.” Hanzo shook his head and gently shoved Jesse’s face away from his hand, unable to hide his small snort at the man’s antics. Jesse’s mischievous grin quickly turned into a loving one; he had always said that he adored the way that Hanzo laughed; then came closer and kissed where Hanzo had knocked into him. “I’m real sorry ‘bout spookin’ ya so bad sweetheart, I thought you heard me comin’ in. I mean, ya get so wrapped up in your work that I spook ya more often than not, but ya usually just kick your legs out a bit and go kinda stiff,” then, with a slightly sheepish tone, “ya don’t really gotta start all the way over, do ya?”

“No, you only made me draw this little line here, and it is an easy fix.” Hanzo leaned back onto Jesse’s chest, and when Jesse remained for much longer than normal without saying a word, Hanzo glanced up to him with concern. “Is something the matter? Did you need something?” Jesse’s eyebrows shot up and he shook his head, giving Hanzo’s forehead another kiss to ground the claim.

“Naw, just wanted to ask when you’d be done so that maybe we could talk tonight. I’ve had somethin’ on my mind for a while now and been itchin’ to ask your thoughts on it.” Hanzo hummed and returned his eyes to his paper; he knew that Jesse wasn’t unhappy with him in any way, but he couldn’t help the bubble of anxiety that formed in his gut at the words.

“I think I will be done in thirty minutes, perhaps. While you wait,” Hanzo paused, spinning his chair to come face to face with Jesse, “you could take a shower and fold your uniform to be washed.” Jesse stuck his arms out as if to examine himself, then gave Hanzo a look of confusion.

“This one ain’t even close to needing to be washed. I mean, I got some dirt stains from when I fell chasin’ some kids in the woods, but—”

“But you stink.” Hanzo turned his chair back around as Jesse scowled at his interruption, and started working on his drawing once more. “I can smell you from here; just go and take a shower and I will be done by the time that you are bathed.” Hanzo could hear Jesse sniffing himself as he started erasing the line, then gagging slightly as he realized Hanzo was right, he really did reek.

“Fine, fine, I’ll go. Can I at least get a ‘welcome-back-I-missed-you-so-much-my-wonderful-boyfriend’ kiss?”

“Not while you smell so sickeningly of pine trees and body odor.” Hanzo didn’t even turn around when Jesse made a half-hearted hurt sound and loudly clutched at his chest, and instead kept his eyes on his paper so that Jesse wouldn’t see his smirk. “Those kisses are reserved only for park rangers who have bathed, or had been lost in the woods for an extended period of time. Are you either of those things right now?” Jesse grumbled a no and then began sulking off in defeat, when Hanzo looked over his shoulder and called: “I love you, Jesse.”

“I love you too, honeybee,” he sighed dramatically and draped himself against the doorframe, “even when you’re bein’ overly cruel to your poor lover.” Hanzo scoffed and waved him off, and as soon as he was out of sight Hanzo was back to working at his design.

Hanzo scribbled away for fifteen minutes before he found himself completely finished with his work, suddenly at a loss for what to do. He could still hear Jesse’s shower running, so he couldn’t occupy himself with Jesse and whatever he wanted to talk to him about, and thoughts of what that talk might be about began rushing into his head.

_Perhaps he wishes to talk about going out more often, we’ve been so busy,_ Hanzo mused as he sat in the silence, _or perhaps he is tired of me and wishes to move on._

He shook his head violently, as if the action would fling the very thought from his brain; he knew that wasn’t what it was, but part of him couldn’t help but worry. He stood and began cleaning to distract himself from his thoughts, but he kept his office so perfectly in order that his little cleaning spree only burned five minutes. Then, lost yet again, he decided to make himself and Jesse some tea and watch television.

Once the tea was steeped and poured, Hanzo sat himself in the middle of the couch and flipped the TV to some old romantic comedy that he had never seen. He watched with confusion as a crowd of younger girls huddled around a woman and cooed about her “crush,” telling her how romantic something, which he must have just missed, was. He nearly changed the channel after being lost with the movie’s plot for a length of time, until he felt someone lean against the couch’s back cushions behind him.

“You watchin’ _13 Goin’ On 30_ without me? Aww darlin’, I’m hurt; I was gonna make that one of our movie night movies.” Jesse swung himself over the back and nestled himself next to Hanzo, throwing his arm around his shoulder and pulling him in close. He flashed him a coy smile and shrugged, saying, “I’m a bathed park ranger now, does that mean I can get my hello kiss?” Hanzo chuckled as he cupped Jesse’s face, his earlier worries beginning to fade away.

He started with a kiss to Jesse’s temple as one of his hands wandered to play with his hair, then pressed another kiss to the tip of his nose, then another to the corner of his mouth. Jesse groaned, urging him to get on with it, to quit teasing, but when Hanzo continued to do just that Jesse quickly closed the gap between the two of them on his own. The sudden contact drew an amused noise from Hanzo’s throat, but he wasn’t complaining; Jesse’s lips were warm against his and he tasted like cherries, while his free hand moved to cradle the back of Hanzo’s head. It was gentle and sweet, and when Hanzo finally pulled away, Jesse trailed after him, chasing his touch and looking mildly disappointed at the separation. Hanzo took pity on him and gave him two parting pecks, then happily snuggled under Jesse’s arm.

“I made you tea while I waited,” Hanzo said after they watched another part of the movie in silence, gesturing to the untouched cup, “though I am afraid that it will most likely be cold by now. I apologize. But you had mentioned that you wished to talk earlier, yes?” Hanzo was nervously rambling, but Jesse gave him an appreciative smile nonetheless and kissed his temple, reaching for the cup as he did so. He drank half of the tea in a single swig, then grabbed at a coaster to set his mug on.

“Yeah, I did,” Jesse grunted as he reached for the TV remote and turned off the screen, “ain’t anythin’ bad, sweet pea, didn’t mean to worry ya. Just somethin’ that I realized we hadn’t discussed, that’s all.” Hanzo couldn’t stop the relieved sigh as it escaped him, and Jesse rubbed circles into his shoulder as a silent apology. “We’ve never talked about kids or if we wanted to have any someday.” Hanzo’s eyes widened as he realized that Jesse was right; in the three years that they had been together, they hadn’t once talked about potentially having a family.

“Do you wish for some?” Hanzo asked as he moved to look at Jesse, wanting to see his face as he thought about the question.

“I’ve always wanted kids,” He gave Hanzo a warm smile and ran his thumb along Hanzo’s cheek, tracing the sharpness of the bone, “but they ain’t a make it or break it kind of thing. If you don’t want any, that’s alright with me. You make happy enough as it is.” Hanzo leaned into Jesse’s hand, taking in the warmth of his palm and grinning at his words.

“The possibility has crossed my mind a few times,” Hanzo shrugged as he spoke, cupping his own hand over Jesse’s, “especially after you thought that I had possibly gotten pregnant all those times before just because I was slightly late.” Jesse threw his head back and laughed at Hanzo’s teasing tone, then kissed his nose as soon as the giggles died down between them both. Then Hanzo continued: “But I would not be opposed to having children. Not anytime soon, mind you, maybe in a few years, but… I think I’d like to carry.” Jesse hummed and pulled Hanzo back under his arm, fiddling with the fabric of Hanzo’s shirt.

“You don’t gotta carry, you know. We have plenty of options. Surrogates, adoption…” Jesse sighed as he trailed off, leaning his head against Hanzo’s. “I just don’t want you feelin’ uncomfortable or sad. I want ya to be happy.”

“I know Jesse,” Hanzo said as he took Jesse’s hand again and ran his thumb over the knuckles, “thank you. I am glad that you have my happiness in mind, but you do not have to worry about me. I will let you know if anything upsets me in that way, and we can talk about this again when we are more seriously considering it. For now, I think that we should give our _actual_ children attention; they’ve been waiting very quietly while I worked and I can hear them whining.” Jesse chuckled and stood, offering a hand to Hanzo to help him up as well, which he happily took.

They walked over to their kitchen area, which had been sectioned off by a child-proof gate. Behind that gate waited their two wiggly Akita Inu puppies, Hideaki and Akira, who barked and pawed at the bars when they saw their owners standing on the other side. When they stepped in and crouched to play with them, both puppies went to Hanzo first, hopping onto his lap to lick at his face, then went to Jesse. They played with them until everyone involved was tired out; the puppies asleep on the tile and Hanzo and Jesse leaning against each other next to the counter.

“You know, we could call these little fellas our practice run,” Jesse mumbled as he lazily kissed at Hanzo’s cheeks and jaw, “see how they turn out, then try for the real thing. How’s that sound?”

“I can agree to that,” Hanzo moaned as Jesse started to kiss at his neck, “but I can tell that you are thinking of other things right now.” Jesse laughed and tugged at Hanzo’s shirt, trying to get him to stand and follow him. They made sure that the gate was closed and that the puppies hadn’t woken up, then Jesse took Hanzo’s hands and lead him to the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick warning: Hanzo pukes near the end of the chapter, just in case you want to avoid that.

Three weeks passed, and with summer looming closer, Hanzo and Jesse drove themselves and their essentials to their mountain cabin so that Jesse could work fire watch without having to leave the park. Their cabin wasn’t much bigger than their apartment in town, but Hanzo enjoyed the fresh air and always looked forward to their partial summer vacation. When they finally pulled into the driveway after the three hour ride, Hanzo stretched, helped the puppies out of the car and into the cabin, and then helped Jesse lug in their baggage. By the time they had brought in Jesse’s two suitcases and Hanzo’s four, Hanzo was panting.

“You okay?” Jesse brought him a glass of water, which he quickly downed. “I guess my bags were heavier than I thought; sorry about that, sweet pea.” Hanzo waved him off and set the glass on the nearby end table, placing his hands on his hips to try and make it easier to catch his breath.

“It was not that,” Hanzo said as soon as his breathing had steadied, “they were much lighter than my own. Perhaps I am just falling out of shape.” Jesse nearly cackled at Hanzo’s suggestion, clapping his hand on his back as his laughter subsided.

“Han, you and I both know that ain’t possible. You work out in your free time and I go maybe once a week. If anyone’s ‘fallin’ out of shape,’ it’s gonna be me.” Jesse pressed the back of his hand to Hanzo’s forehead, checking for a fever. “Ya could be gettin’ sick, which I hope ain’t the case. We still gotta go grocery shopping back in town, and you know how much I hate going alone.” Hanzo instantly perked up at the thought of food; he was _starving_ , and he imagined Jesse was in the same boat.

“We passed a hamburger stand as we drove through town, could we stop there before we shop?” Jesses eyes widened; Hanzo almost always tried to avoid fast food, saying it was too unhealthy and made him feel sluggish after eating it.

“Yer _that_ hungry? Damn, maybe that’s what got you so tired haulin’ in those bags. If you really wanna just go to that burger joint, that’s alright with me, but we could also go shoppin’ and make somethin’ together when we get back, it’s up to you.” Hanzo considered the second option for only a split second before his stomach growled again, loud enough that Jesse’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Burger joint it is then. Let’s just get the rest of our stuff moved out of the car before we go, can you wait till after that?” Hanzo nodded and followed Jesse back out, helping him bring in box after box filled with who knows what. They made quick work of it all, and once they were sure they hadn’t left anything, they hopped in and drove back towards the little mountain town.

The drive was long, nearly forty-five minutes, and had nothing for Hanzo to look at but tree after tree. At one point, Hanzo thought that maybe he saw a deer and pointed it out to Jesse, but as they drove closer, it turned out to just be an oddly shaped rock. Jesse laughed at the mistake, and after pointing out a few more rocks and asking Hanzo if they were also deer, Hanzo started pouting by staring out the window. Jesse hummed in a pitying tone and apologized, then rested one of his hands on Hanzo’s knee and ran his thumb over the fabric of his jeans, coaxing Hanzo to hold that hand. Hanzo quickly took it, and once his mind began to wander again, he began to think about how much his seat belt felt like it was digging into his chest. He readjusted it once, then again, and when that didn’t help, he cupped one of his pectorals, kneading at the muscle and finding he was tender there for some reason.

“We should be close, maybe five—” Jesse’s sentence died in his throat when he glanced at Hanzo, and was quickly replaced with giggling after his double take confirmed that he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. “What’re you doing there, darlin’? Want some help with that?”

“No, I do not want help,” Hanzo said as he winced, which made Jesse’s face shift to a look of concern, “I think that I may have pulled something while lifting those boxes.” He tested his other pec, finding a similar soreness there, and groaned in discontent. “Though they ache like when I am about to get my period.”

“Aww, I’m sorry darlin’,” Jesse squeezed his hand as he spoke, “maybe a warm bubble bath with your fancy oils and soap would help. I’d be happy to join ya, if you want.” He accented the last part with a waggle of his eyebrows, and Hanzo chuckled as he told him to keep his eyes on the road.

They finally came into town not long after Jesse’s teasing, and found the burger stand Hanzo had mentioned with ease; it was the only thing that was painted bright blue in between red brick buildings. It was an awful eyesore and its… mime raccoon? mascot was absolutely hideous, but they didn’t care; they were too hungry to be picky. They went through the drive threw and each ordered a burger, Hanzo’s without pickles, and two chocolate milkshakes that Hanzo knew that he’d end up drinking both of.

Jesse immediately dug in once they parked, but when Hanzo opened his food and brought it to his mouth, he hesitated. The smell of the grease and cheese had his stomach churning, to the point that he was afraid that he was going to vomit right then and there. He put the burger back into its wrapper and went for one of the milkshakes instead, hoping that maybe the sweetness would cancel out the nausea. When that didn’t work either, Hanzo wrapped up his meal again, which Jesse quickly noticed.

“Somethin’ wrong with it? Does it have pickles?” Hanzo shook his head and took another sip from the milkshake, which was still too frozen and he ended up collapsing the straw and sucking on nothing.

“My stomach is not agreeing with the smell of it. It reeks of grease and is making me nauseous, could we open a window?” Jesse nodded and rolled Hanzo’s down, which Hanzo practically leaned out of to breathe something that didn’t smell of grease.

“Do ya want me to maybe get ya a kid’s meal? I don’t want you goin’ hungry, ‘specially since I ate and you’d have to wait till we got home again.” Hanzo nodded and took a steadying breath, and heard Jesse hop out of the car and walk into the main part of the restaurant. A few minutes later, he returned and placed a cartoonish box on Hanzo’s lap, which Hanzo couldn’t help but sneer at.

“Did you have to get it in something so… like this?” Jesse laughed as Hanzo took a stuffed toy out of the box, shooting him a disapproving look. It was then that he saw Jesse’s phone’s flash go off, and Hanzo realized that Jesse had gotten a picture of him holding a toy like someone would a dirty diaper. “You did this just so you could take a photo of me!”

“As much as I’d love to say I’m that clever, that’s just what they gave me when I asked for a kid’s meal, and moved on to the next customer before I could say anythin’. Besides, I got plenty of pictures of ya being a sassy cutie already, what’s one more gonna hurt?” Hanzo pouted and reached into the box again, pulling out a much smaller hamburger and unwrapping it. Just as he was about to take a bite, the smell of the meat hit him again and he had to force himself to not vomit there on the spot. He sighed, defeated, and put it back into the container, handing it back to Jesse as he leaned out the window again. Jesse shook his head and glanced into the box, then said: “That’s no good either, huh? Ya poor thing; I’ll get rid of this greasy stuff, but I’ll leave you the apples. Maybe you can get those down?” Hanzo nodded again and took the apples from him, cringing at the thought of eating old bagged slices; who knows what kind of preservatives were on them.

“They are not even the good kind of pre-cut apples,” he said as he snapped one slice in two with his teeth, scrunching up his face as he chewed, “they taste like dusty water.”

“We’ll get you whatever ‘good kind’ of apples you want when we go shoppin’, I promise. Along with somethin’ that hopefully won’t make ya so queasy.” Hanzo huffed as he chewed at another apple, which tasted the same as the first one. “Just don’t want you passin’ out on me while we do.”

“We should get peaches,” Hanzo said when Jesse got back in the car from throwing out their trash, “I have been thinking about peaches all day.”

“They ain’t in season yet, sweet pea,” Jesse replied as he started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot, “but if you’re good with canned ones or ones that ain’t as good, then we can get ‘em.”

“As long as they are peaches, then I do not care.” Hanzo could see Jesse’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise; along with avoiding fast food, Hanzo also always tried to buy fresh and in season food. But this time, all he wanted was peaches, and seasons and freshness be damned.

They got to the local grocery store after another five minute drive, Hanzo complaining about how tasteless the apple slices were the whole time, and marveling at how someone could grow such an ineffective crop. They picked up all their essentials, such as toilet paper and some fancy bubble bath that Hanzo _insisted_ that they needed, along with enough food for the next few weeks. Hanzo also grabbed a can of peaches, and once they had paid and gotten everything into the car, he cracked it open and drank all of the juice.

“Whoa there, slow down. Your fruit ain’t runnin’ from you.” Right as Jesse said that, Hanzo started picking out peach halves with his fingers and popping them into his mouth whole. “Lord, Hanzo, what’re you doin’?! You’re gonna get that all over yourself, and my truck!” He shook his head and shot him a confused and concerned stare. “You’re eatin’ them like some kind of starvin’ animal. Don’t you come cryin’ to me when you’re all sticky and regrettin’ grabbin’ those with your hands.” Hanzo ignored him and, by the time they got about a quarter of the way back to their cabin, he had finished the entire can. Jesse’s mouth hung open incredulously as Hanzo put the empty can onto the floor, then muttered: “What the hell, Han.”

“I was hungry,” Hanzo said as he shrugged and burped, “excuse me. Now my hands are—”

“Don’t,” Jesse pointed an accusatory finger to Hanzo as he interrupted him, “don’t you dare complain about bein’ sticky, you did that to your own damn self.” Hanzo smirked as he watched Jesse shake his head disapprovingly, then wiped his hand across Jesse’s beard, causing Jesse to scream out in protest. They giggled for a while, and once they calmed again Hanzo rested his hands on his stomach and sighed contently.

“I want more peaches.” Hanzo could feel Jesse’s shocked stare boring through him, then heard him scoff and laugh again.

“You ain’t serious, are ya? We’re already halfway home, we ain’t goin’ back just so you can get your weird fix. You can do that tomorrow when I’m up in that watch tower and I don’t have to watch you eat peaches with your damn hands again. And don’t you think for a second that you’re gonna just get away with wiping that juice on my face.” Hanzo laughed and turned his attention out the window, telling Jesse that he’d believe his revenge when he saw it, and watched the sun as it dipped down beneath the horizon and painted the sky a vibrant red. He watched the sky until the colors had shifted to purples and blues, and by that time they were pulling back up to their cabin.

They stored away all of their groceries and gave the puppies a bit of play time before the two of them headed off to bed for the night. Hanzo, despite Jesse’s protests, decided to skip dinner entirely, partially from eating an entire can of peaches, but also partially from his earlier nausea making a return.

That same nausea was also what woke Hanzo up at nearly five in the morning; his first thought was that this was how his body was rejecting the canned and processed food he had put into it. He laid stiff in their bed as Jesse snored away, using all of his willpower to not vomit all over their sheets right then and there. He was almost successful in doing so, too, until he felt Jesse stretch and drape an arm over him.

“Aww, darlin’, did you wake up early so that you could get ready with me and see me off on my first day of work? Or did you maybe have somethin’ else in mind?” Jesse accented his sleepy words with a squeeze around Hanzo’s midsection and a playful growl, blissfully unaware of the chaos that his touch caused in Hanzo’s stomach.

Hanzo instantly groaned and flung the sheets from his person, running to the bathroom as fast as his legs could carry him. He covered his mouth as he nearly tripped over their comforter and left the room, bumping into the doorframe as he went; he could hear Jesse throw off his half of the covers too and call after him, worry heavy in his voice. But at the moment, he cared more about actually making it to the toilet, which he barely managed, and spilled his stomach contents into the bowl as soon as he kneeled in front of it. As he heaved he could hear Jesse’s heavy footsteps come up behind him, and soon Jesse was on the floor next to him and holding back his hair.

When the nausea finally passed, Hanzo rested his head against the cold seat, despite his inner voice screaming at the thought of where he was letting his face touch. At the moment though, he couldn’t have cared less; he was panting and wanted to cry, and the only thing that kept the tears at bay was Jesse’s hand rubbing gently along his back. When Hanzo’s panting had also passed, Jesse coaxed Hanzo off of the toilet and onto his shoulder, checking his temperature with the back of his hand before he let Hanzo press all of his weight against him.

“Good news, honeybee: I don’t feel any fever on ya. Ya feelin’ any better?” Hanzo nodded weakly against Jesse’s neck, even though he wasn’t actually sure if he was any better. He felt like he had just puked his guts out, which was never a good feeling to have, but at least Jesse’s steadying hand on his back made the feeling a little more tolerable. When Hanzo kept quiet and didn’t go to move from their spot on the floor, Jesse asked: “Can ya stand, darlin’? Or do ya want me to carry ya back to the bed?” Hanzo slowly wrapped his arms around Jesse’s neck, taking a breath to keep himself from possibly puking again.

“Carry me, please.” Jesse responded by doing just that, looping an arm under the crook of Hanzo’s knees and carefully hoisting up, not wanting to jostle him too much and risk another episode. He took him to the bed and laid him down with the same amount of care that he had taken in picking him up, then ran off to fetch a spare trash bin to put by Hanzo’s head. He also brought him three bottles of water, a wash rag, and some oatmeal and left them on Hanzo’s nightstand.

“When you’re feelin’ up to it, I want ya to eat some of that oatmeal and drink that water. If I come home and find they hadn’t been touched at all, then I’m gonna sit here and stare you down till you eat and drink at least some of ‘em.” Hanzo nodded, but could already feel himself drifting off to sleep again as Jesse grabbed his park ranger’s hat and gave him a worried look. “I’ll be back around maybe seven tonight, will ya be okay till then?” Hanzo nodded again, then jolted awake when Jesse took his hand and leaned next to the edge of the bed. “Will ya promise that if you get sick again you’ll call me? And will ya call me even if ya get better so that I’ll know you’re okay?” Hanzo gave another nod, earning his hand a squeeze from Jesse’s before he let go and told him good-bye, shooting Hanzo one more fretting look before leaving the room.

Hanzo would later remember hearing the door close with Jesse’s departure and Jesse calling one last good-bye, but after that he was asleep again. He dozed peacefully for another three hours, not once waking up to vomit again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any tips/suggestions on how I could better write and represent a trans male character, please let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's quite a bit longer, so I hope you enjoy!  
> I'm also thinking about updating this on a weekly schedule, depending on my work load, so look forward to that!

Hanzo’s nausea stuck around for _days_ after his first episode, rearing its ugly head in random waves at the most inopportune times. He tried every remedy that he found on the internet; ginger ale, lemon and peppermint oils, and multiple other methods, but the only thing that really helped hold it off was plain saltine crackers, which he absolutely hated. On the bright side, he and Jesse had bought three boxes when they had gone shopping that last Sunday, so later in the week when Hanzo found himself yet again with his face in the toilet, at least he didn’t have to worry about running out. He flushed and brushed the bitter taste from his mouth as soon as he was sure he wasn’t going to be sick again, then went out to the kitchen and snagged the box of crackers from the counter, where he had left it the night before.

Once Hanzo had a sleeve of saltines in hand and nestled himself into the couch, he turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. Most of them were playing bizarre infomercials for products he couldn’t see anyone ever needing or using; the rest were playing ancient cartoon reruns. Hanzo sighed at the barren selection and glanced at his watch, the hands reading about four forty-seven in the morning; too early for the regular programming to be running. He couldn’t go back to bed either, or he’d risk waking Jesse up earlier than needed before he had to head out to work, so he popped a cracker in his mouth and decided to wait for Jesse to get up at the top of the hour.

Sure enough, once the clock hit five, Jesse’s alarm rang out and Hanzo could hear him shuffle the blankets of their bed, most likely searching for Hanzo’s missing form. Not long after that he dragged himself into the living room, still rubbing sleep from his eyes and his eyebrows drawn in confusion.

“Hey, darlin’,” Jesse paused to yawn and stretch, then continued, “I missed wakin’ up to ya this mornin’. Why ya out here so early?” Hanzo held up the sleeve of crackers as he snapped another saltine in half, giving it a little shake which made the plastic crinkle. Jesse instantly caught on, nodding as he said: “Ah, still sufferin’ some kind of bug, are ya? I’m sorry ‘bout sweetheart. But you’re gonna end up eatin’ all my soup crackers before I even make any actual soup.” He staggered over to Hanzo, obviously still half asleep, and pressed a sloppy kiss to Hanzo’s forehead as he chewed.

“It is not _my_ fault that all I can eat are these terrible crackers. I would not be touching these awful squares of cardboard if I had the choice.” Jesse nodded again as he affectionately scratched his fingers through Hanzo’s beard, drawing a happy hum from his throat.

“They can’t be that bad, Han, they don’t taste like anythin’.” Hanzo huffed as he pulled another out of the sleeve, popping the whole thing into his mouth as he gave Jesse a pouty and quivering lip.

“They _are_ that bad, Jesse,” Hanzo threw an arm dramatically over his face as he spoke, “it is like I am being forced to eat your step-father’s cooking for every meal, every day. I am practically dying from the blandness.” Jesse threw his head back as he howled with laughter, making Hanzo smile warmly at the way that he held his belly as he calmed.

“Aww Han, be nice to Jack.” Jesse wiped at his eyes as a few more giggles escaped. “You know he gets heartburn and indigestion easy, ain’t entirely his fault that he can only make unseasoned chicken and rice.”

“I will be nicer to him once he learns to make food that is seasoned with something other than simply salt.” Hanzo leaned up and gave Jesse a kiss, then recoiled when he found Jesse’s mouth still bitter from sleep. Hanzo held a hand to his mouth and breathed deep, trying to stave off the nausea that suddenly reappeared. “You did not brush your teeth.”

“Not yet, I just woke up. Is it makin’ ya sick?” When Hanzo nodded, Jesse backed away, far enough that Hanzo couldn’t smell his breath anymore, but close enough that he could still keep his hand against Hanzo’s face. “Sorry, sugar, I was worried ‘bout that. I’ll take care of it when I go get ready and give ya a proper kiss before I leave, but that reminds me.” He rested his hands on his hips, which told Hanzo that he most likely wasn’t going to like what Jesse was about to say. “I ain’t comfortable leavin’ ya alone like this, especially since you’ve been puking for the past few days now. And since you won’t let me take off work to stay with you—”

“You _did not_.” Hanzo cut Jesse off as he gave him a scowl and pointed a threatening finger, instantly knowing what he was leading up to say. “Please tell me you did not call him.”

“I did.” Hanzo fell back into the couch and let out the loudest groan he could muster, covering his face in his despair. “Now quit your bellyachin’, it ain’t that bad. I called your brother to come stay with you today and make sure you’re okay while I’m at work, and once I’m off we’re goin’ into town to make sure you’re okay.”

“Jesse, why have you forsaken me in this way?” Jesse chuckled as Hanzo hunched over with his face in his hands, obviously not feeling any sympathy for him. “Why have you condemned me to fate worse than death?”

“Sweet pea, you’re just being dramatic now.” Jesse leaned Hanzo’s downcast head against his thigh, combing his fingers through Hanzo’s hair and slowly working out the knots that were left over from sleep. “Genji said he was super excited to see ya and is bringin’ Egg, if it helps any.”

“It does not,” Hanzo sighed as he closed his eyes, “and stop calling her Egg. It is just… he will hold this day over my head forever. I have never had to be watched by Genji, I have always been the one watching over him when he was ill.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Han. I think he just misses ya; ya haven’t seen each other since we all got our pups together, and that was nearly two months ago. It’ll be good for you two to talk for a bit, maybe watch some dumb movie he brings.” Hanzo groaned again, knowing that Genji would probably be bringing _The Princess Bride_ and would attempt for the hundredth time to get Hanzo to watch it with him. Jesse patted his head lovingly, then parted from him to get dressed for his day in the tower.

When Jesse returned to their living room, he was in his all khaki uniform and park ranger’s hat, along with the ridiculous golden BAMF belt buckle that Hanzo had come to grow quite fond of. He did, however, wish that Jesse switch out his ranger’s hat for his usual cowboy one; he hated that hat, and hated that no matter how many times Jesse got it resized, it never seemed to properly fit his head. After a few thrown compliments about how Hanzo loved a man in uniform, Jesse quickly moved to stand in front of him again and delivered that “proper kiss” that he had promised. Hanzo growled when Jesse cut the kiss short, letting Jesse know his distaste at the sudden loss of contact.

“Sorry hon. Can’t get too carried away, else we might be leading Genji to his untimely death at the hand of pure embarrassment. I promise to give ya more when I get back, though; love ya lots.” He gave Hanzo another kiss on the cheek as he made his way to the door, which lessened Hanzo’s agitation a little as he smiled after him.

“I love you too, Jesse.” Jesse gave him one last wave, and then he was gone, leaving Hanzo alone again with the TV. Thankfully, the regular programming had returned at this point, but Hanzo soon felt himself growing drowsy from his unintentional early morning. He wrapped himself in Jesse’s favorite serape, which they always draped on the back of their couch, and slipped into sleep.

When Hanzo woke again, the entire cabin smelled like chicken and noodle soup and he had left a wet patch on the serape. He groaned in disgust and rubbed at the knot that had formed in his neck, then checked his watch again, finding that he had been out for close to five hours. He stretched his legs and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders, not wanting to get up just yet, but when someone replied to the sounds of his movements with perky Japanese, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” Hanzo peeked over the edge of the couch’s cushions, his eyes landing on the tuft of bright green hair that he knew only his brother could have. He wiggled himself into an upright position and gave Genji a mock scowl, which was only returned with the brightest of smiles. “I thought you’d be out the whole time I was here and we wouldn’t get to do anything together.”

“How did you get in without waking me?” Genji’s face instantly fell from a smile to a pouty frown, obviously upset with Hanzo’s lack of a greeting.

“I don’t even get a ‘hello brother, it’s so good to see you brother?’ Anija, you hurt me, and even after I’ve been slaving over this hot stove for an hour to make soup, just for you!” Genji huffed and crossed his arms against his chest, Hanzo shaking his head as a smirk pulled at his lips.

“Genji, it is canned, I can smell that it is. Making canned soup takes perhaps ten minutes, and you did not answer my first question.” Hanzo leaned his face against his hand as he watched Genji’s pout worsen, then added: “I am very glad to see you, though. Thank you for coming by.” Those few words instantly brought his spirits back up, the lost smile quickly returning to his face as he spooned two servings into bowls. He was followed by the clicking of twelve paws as he handed one to Hanzo.

“Jesse told me where you two keep the extra key yesterday when he called, so getting in was easy.” Genji dropped himself onto the couch next to Hanzo’s feet, nearly spilling the broth. “The hard part was getting Egg in here without letting her run to lick your face or bark at Hideaki or Akira.”

At the mention of her name, Egg hopped up and pressed her tiny paws to Genji’s knee, curled tail wagging furiously. She was a Shiba Inu puppy, colored tan and white, and she was almost half the size of Hanzo’s two pups.

“Why do you continue to call her that? You should at least grant her some kind of dignity; call her by her actual name, no matter how awful it still is.” Hanzo reached over and scratched behind her ears, placing his half-finished meal on the coffee table, then returned to eating his saltines.

“Aww but brother, calling her Egg is so much funnier! Not everyone instantly knows what Tamago means; plus, it’s fun to hear you bitch about it.” Genji laughed as Hanzo gave him a scandalized gasp, smacking his shoulder as he grabbed Hanzo’s dish. “You’re already done with this? What, you didn’t like it?”

“It was alright,” Hanzo said with a nonchalant shrug, “it just was not fitting to my tastes at the moment. Thank you for it nonetheless, but would you fetch me something from the kitchen when you return?” Genji nodded and waited, stacking the bowls on top of one another and making sure that he didn’t force broth out the sides. “Would you bring me the jar of pickles that Jesse hides in the back of the fridge? Oh, and the vanilla ice cream that’s in the freezer.” Genji’s face shifted to pure bewilderment as he studied Hanzo’s face, then changed again to disgust when he realized that he was serious.

“Anija, you _hate_ pickles. You’ve told me that a million times before, and won’t even touch food if it had them anywhere near it. And you want to eat them together with _ice cream_? Are you sure that you don’t have a fever that’s making you delirious?” Genji reached out to touch Hanzo’s forehead with his free hand, which he crossly swatted away.

“No, I am not delirious, and yes, I know I despise pickles and I know that they will taste absolutely awful with ice cream. Would you just get them for me? I have been wanting them ever since I woke up.” Genji’s lips curled into a devilish smile, and Hanzo instantly regretted asking.

“Only if you finally watch _The Princess Bride_ with me.” Hanzo scowled and thought about getting the items himself, but another wave of nausea told him that it would probably be best if he just complied.

“Fine.” He sighed in defeat as Genji squealed, taking out another cracker and biting it in half. “But do not quote every line like you usually do!” Genji nodded, his face expressing the purest form of joy, then he dashed into the kitchen and soon returned with both the jar of pickles and carton of ice cream. Then he ran to get his bag and produced the movie with blinding speed; almost as if he had been trying to do this every time he came to visit.

“You know, Hanzo,” Genji called over his shoulder as he put the disk into the player, “you’re eating kind of like a pregnant person.” Hanzo froze as Genji bounded back to the couch, his eyes going wide and sending him a puzzled glance.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh you know; the crackers, the cravings, the puking. Those are all things that pregnant people usually do.” Genji shrugged at Hanzo while he pressed play, the excitement returning to his face as soon as the opening scene rolled onto the screen. Hanzo, on the other hand, could feel his chest slowly seizing up.

“That cannot be possible,” Genji shushed him, but Hanzo continued, “Jesse and I are always safe; nothing has ever—” Genji made a disgusted noise as he paused the movie and covered his ears, making an equally as disgusted face at Hanzo as he cringed.

“God Hanzo, are you trying to mentally scar me? I don’t need to know my big brother’s and my best friend’s bedroom habits with each other, especially not during the start of my favorite movie! You’re going to ruin it for me forever!” Hanzo scoffed and arched his eyebrow in disbelief, trying to give him the most sarcastic face that he could muster.

“Oh, and all the times that I had to sit and listen to your sexual escapades while I babysat your drunken ass was any different?” Genji tried to match Hanzo’s expression as he put his hands on his hips, but the imitation ended up making him seem constipated and Hanzo had to hold back a laugh.

“Of course that was different! That was brother talk, brothers always talk about those kinds of things!”

“You told me about specific… toys, that you and your partners used. _Specific toys,_ Genji. You did not once leave out a single detail, none whatsoever.” Genji’s cheeks flushed a deep red as it dawned on him that Hanzo was right, then swallowed and attempted to divert the subject.

“Can we… can we just get back to the movie? And never talk about those things I told you ever, ever again?” Hanzo smirked and nodded, the pride he had for his victory beaming as Genji started up the movie again.

“Of course, Mr. ‘Number One at Taking Two Dildos at Once.’” Hanzo could nearly hear the steam coming out of Genji’s ears as he punched Hanzo’s arm, hard enough to make him cry out in playful pain.

Hanzo tried to watch the movie, he really did, but anxiety was gnawing at the back of his mind as he thought about what Genji had said. He _was_ showing all the early signs and symptoms of pregnancy, and even though it was usually irregular, he hadn’t gotten his period in quite some time, longer than even he was accustomed to. But he couldn’t be pregnant, not after he and Jesse had taken every possible precaution; not after they had talked about waiting to have children until later. Those racing thoughts, coupled with the fact that Genji paused the movie over and over to gush about a man that he had recently met while at the gym, made it increasingly difficult for Hanzo to focus on any kind of storyline that the film may have had.

“His name’s Zenyatta,” Genji said after he had paused the movie for the tenth time, “and he’s super amazing. Like, god levels of amazing. He’s a yoga instructor at my gym in his free time, but I guess he’s also a really great OB/GYN.” Genji rubbed the back of his head shyly as his cheeks turned a soft pink. “I’ve kind of been seeing him off and on for the past month now. I really like him a lot.”

“That is good. Do you think this one will be…?”

“More serious? Yeah, I think he might be. I haven’t felt like this for someone in a really long time.” Hanzo watched as Genji’s face split into a dorky grin, filling his chest with warmth for his little brother. “He makes me really happy.”

“Then I am happy for you as well, Genji. I wish you the best.” Genji gave Hanzo an appreciative smile, then played the movie again just as a man was threating to kill another character for killing his father.

Once they finished the movie, which Hanzo still wasn’t exactly sure what the plot of it was, he and Genji sunk back into their childhood ways and played competitive games on the old consoles that Hanzo had stored in the cabin. Hanzo’s worries melted away as he desperately tried to best Genji at _Super Smash Bros_., but no matter what he did, he and Genji always came out pretty even. When they got bored of that they switched to multiple other games, but in the end came right back to _Smash_ until Jesse came home. His appearance sent the dogs into a tizzy, their yipping distracting Hanzo enough to give Genji an opportunity to win the match, leaving him the victor 15-14. Hanzo complained loudly about Genji cheating, but knew that they’d have to settle the fight another time, since he was already up and gathering his things. When he had doubled and triple checked that he had everything, including Egg, he said his goodbyes and soon was off, leaving Hanzo alone with Jesse and his thoughts.

“So,” Jesse started as he wrapped his arms around Hanzo’s hips and drew him in close, “was it as bad as you thought it’d be?” Hanzo hummed, looping his arms around Jesse’s neck and letting Jesse sway them back and forth.

“No, but I ate pickles dipped in ice cream today.” Jesse’s jaw dropped as he waited for Hanzo to say he was just kidding, but when it didn’t come Jesse shook his head in confusion.

“Ya hate pickles, darlin’.” Hanzo sighed and nodded, Genji’s words playing over and over in his mind and the earlier anxiety beginning to ebb at his mind again. He had to tell him; even if it turned out to be false, he had to say _something_.

“Yes, about that—” Jesse cut him off with a hungry yet gentle kiss, temporarily wiping away his fears and making Hanzo forget what he was going to say.

“Well, we can worry about your change in tastes later,” Jesse mumbled as he broke away, pulling at the back Hanzo’s shirt as he tried to get it untucked, “for now, I’m thinkin’ we should pick up where we left off this mornin’. Sound good to you?” Before Hanzo could completely collect his thoughts again, Jesse’s lips were on his once more, playfully growling and trying to coax Hanzo’s mouth open. He nearly fell for it, but managed to break away before he got lost in Jesse’s touch, pulling back as he chased Hanzo’s mouth.

“Wait, wait, there’s something—” Hanzo swallowed hard as Jesse stopped and looked at him, worry in his eyes, seeming as though he was scared he’d crossed some kind of boundary. He backed off into a safer space almost instantly, the only contact between them coming from Jesse’s hands resting on Hanzo’s hips and Hanzo’s on Jesse’s chest.

“You okay, sugar? Did I hurt ya or somethin’?” Hanzo frantically shook his head, trying to tell Jesse that it wasn’t something he had done, while also trying to find the best way to phrase his words.

“It is nothing that you did, just…When Genji was here today, he made… a comment. A comment about my strange behavior for the past few days. That comment made me think; think about the past few days, and the oddness that I have been portraying—”

“Lord, Han, just spit it out already. You’re really startin’ to worry me.” Hanzo swallowed again, a lump forming in his throat as he tried to keep it together. He couldn't though, his voice shaking as he looked Jesse in the eyes and took a deep breath.

“Jesse, I think that I might be pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any tips/suggestions on how I could better write and represent a trans male character, please let me know!
> 
> Come chat with me on my Tumblr, @missboogirl.tumblr.com!


	4. Chapter 4

Hanzo couldn’t help but squirm when Jesse didn’t speak for a while, his mouth instead hanging silent and open as his eyes scanned every inch of Hanzo’s face. Fear began to bubble up in Hanzo’s mind; they had just talked about waiting on having children, yet here he was telling Jesse that perhaps that talk had been for nothing. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his nerves from making him sick, then laid his hands onto Jesse’s arms to try and get him to come back to reality. He jumped at the touch and the anxious expression that formed on Hanzo’s face, then squeezed Hanzo’s waist a little tighter.

“Shit… You sure?” Hanzo shrugged, sighing as he cast his eyes to the floor.

“Not yet, but Genji is right; I show every sign, and it would easily explain why I have been out of sorts as of late.” Jesse hummed as one of his hands left Hanzo’s hip and hooked itself under Hanzo’s jaw, cupping it gently as it coaxed his gaze back up to Jesse’s face. It was painted with concern as his hand thumbed at Hanzo’s cheek, making his beard tickle.

“You okay darlin’? I don’t want ya scared or uncomfortable and sufferin’ alone.” The statement was simple, but made Hanzo’s heart swell with happiness at the fact that Jesse cared so much for his wellbeing. He nodded and covered Jesse’s hand with his own, trying to keep his face stoic as his thoughts raced through his mind. “Alright then, I guess the only way we’ll know for sure is if we head back into town and get you one of those pregnancy tests. Shall we?” He offered the crook of his arm to Hanzo, which he cautiously took, then went out the door and straight to the truck.

The drive to town was quiet; the two of them barely spoke as they passed the hundreds of trees, but Jesse kept Hanzo’s hand in his the entire ride. Usually Hanzo would complain about how unsafe having half a grip on the wheel was and try to bat Jesse’s hand away, but tonight he welcomed the touch, which kept him from spinning into his own thoughts. Every time he would tense or his breath would become shaky, Jesse would give Hanzo a gentle squeeze and remind him that he wasn’t alone. That, unfortunately, only worked for most the ride, and once the trees began to thin and the town’s lights were shining in the distance, Hanzo broke the silence.

“Are…” Hanzo couldn’t stop the wavering in his voice as he spoke at first, and he swallowed hard to try and steady himself again. “Are you upset?”

“What? Upset?” Jesse brought the truck to a stop at the red stoplight on the edge of town and turned to face Hanzo the best that he could. “Why would I be upset, sugar?”

“Because… Jesse, we had just spoken about this idea of having children merely a few weeks ago, and we had decided to wait until we were ready, and now I may be pregnant and I very well might have ruined—” Hanzo stopped himself with a sharp intake of air, trying his best to slow his speaking despite his heart hammering away in his chest. He laced his fingers with Jesse’s and waited for his heartbeat to steady, then continued: “That, plus you have not said anything this whole ride.”

“Aww Han,” Jesse said as he ran his thumb along Hanzo’s hand, “nothin’s ruined, and I’m sorry for keepin’ so quiet. I thought maybe ya wanted some time to your thoughts; I didn’t know you were kickin’ up a hell of a storm in your head waitin’ for me to say somethin’.” The light turned green again and Jesse gave Hanzo a concerned look before returning his gaze to the road; the market was just a few more blocks away, along with the test that would potentially throw a fork into their road. Hanzo gripped at Jesse’s hand in fear as they pulled into the parking lot, tight enough to make Jesse wince, though he said nothing of it as he stalled the trucks engine. “You’re shakin’, sweetheart; do ya wanna talk?”

 

“I do not know.” Hanzo mumbled his words, his voice faltering as multiple possibilities flashed before his eyes. Jesse nodded and, thankfully, didn’t push the issue further.

“Okay, Han. Do ya want me to keep holdin’ your hand?”

“I would prefer if you were hugging me.” Without hesitation, Jesse pulled up the divider that separated the front seats and scooted closer, wrapping his arms around him in a tight embrace. They stayed like that until Hanzo’s trembling calmed and his world had stopped spiraling, then Jesse lovingly nosed through his hair.

“Better?” Hanzo nodded and grabbed at Jesse’s shirt, then snaked his arms around Jesse’s waist. He gave a happy hum at the return of the hug and Hanzo buried himself into Jesse’s chest, attempting to hide his embarrassment.

“I am sorry.” Jesse ran one of his hands up Hanzo’s spine and moved back to look at him, but rested his cheek on Hanzo’s head when he realized he couldn’t see his face.

“Sorry for what, sugar?”

“For whatever that was.” He swallowed hard and played with the back of Jesse’s shirt, trying to make sense of why he had suddenly panicked like that.

“It’s alright, Han. How about we go in the store and get ya some of those strawberry candies ya love so much, along with the test? We can talk after.” Hanzo nodded again and Jesse released his grip, the both of them then hopping out of the car and they headed into the store together, hands linked once more.

The fluorescent lights stung Hanzo’s eyes as they walked through the sliding doors, but he quickly got over it as Jesse tugged him along towards the candy aisle. Jesse grabbed a bag of Hanzo’s favorite strawberry hard candies and a bag of caramels for himself, then smirked at Hanzo and handed him both bags. Hanzo mumbled a lighthearted complaint about how he was feeling like a pack mule, but Jesse pretended like he wasn’t listening as he took Hanzo’s free hand and led him towards the medicine aisle.

They were both instantly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of different options there were; some read one-step, others read early detection, and all of them ranged from five dollars to twenty. Jesse reached out to grab at one, but he stopped before one box and moved to another, then another.

“Uh,” Jesse finally said as he hovered over yet another test, “which one are we supposed to get?” Hanzo shrugged and shook his head, his eyes wide at the variety.

“I… assume the one that is best? Or perhaps the fastest?” At Hanzo’s suggestion Jesse whipped out his phone and started tapping away as he looked up the selection, then frowned as he scrolled through each one.

“Well, none of these ratings help any. Not one of them’s got more than three stars.” He pocketed the phone and started looking over the selection again, humming as he thought. “We could just get ya like, three different ones.” Hanzo scoffed and gave Jesse a sarcastically raised eyebrow.

“Jesse, I cannot pee on three separate tests all in one night. How much urine do you think I hold?” They both laughed at his teasing, Jesse beaming at the fact that he was feeling good enough to sass him.

“You’re right, you’re right. How about…” He grabbed one box that read ‘one-step’ and cost ten dollars, then held it where they could both read it. “How about we do this one? If this one doesn’t work, then we could always come back tomorrow and get another, just to be safe” Hanzo took the box and looked over its instructions, nodding as he saw that it was rather simple to use.

“This one seems alright, but may I ask that we talk about this whole occurance after we are for certain that I am pregnant or not? The unknowns of what could be happening in our future just make me worry.”

“Sounds good, darlin’. Let’s go get checked out and head on home.” Hanzo felt a wave of relief wash over him as Jesse gave him a gentle smile, then followed after him to the register with both of their bags of candy in his arms.

The drive back to their cabin was just as quiet as the drive away, but this silence was a comfortable one. Hanzo sucked on his hard candies the whole way, but the pregnancy test kept glaring at him from his lap. He could’ve taken it in the supermarket’s bathroom after they had purchased it, but he decided against it when he realized that he would have to use a public toilet. He moved it to the ground about halfway through the drive, then began playfully popping candies into Jesse’s mouth until they pulled into their driveway.

Jesse had barely parked the car before Hanzo was out and bolting for the bathroom, ready to get this whole dance of pregnant-or-not over with. He unboxed the test and followed the directions exactly as they were written, then put the test onto the counter once he was done and waited with baited breath. He could hear Jesse lean against the wall to the left of the door, probably waiting to catch Hanzo if he fainted as he came out with the results.

Said results took what felt like _forever_ to come. The test promised only a five minute wait, but Hanzo felt like he was waiting for hours as the screen flashed at him as he stood over it. What was that saying Jesse had told him before, a watched cup never boils? In his impatience he considered grabbing another one of the tests from the box, since it had come with multiples, and using it as well, but as he was digging for another the screen stopped flashing and caught his eye. He took a steadying breath and closed his eyes, blindly reaching for the test and bringing it to his face.

Two lines streaked across the screen, which meant, according to the instructions: he was definitely pregnant.

He wanted to scream and laugh and vomit all at the same time, but it wasn’t because he was upset; no, Hanzo actually found that what he was feeling the most, along with fear and anxiety, was excitement. It was a dizzying cocktail of emotions to say the least, but Hanzo managed to open the door and found Jesse there waiting for him, just like he had expected.

“Well?” Jesse’s voice was tinged with concern, but the concern was for Hanzo as he hurried to keep him steady. “You look awful pale, sweetness.” Hanzo could only respond by holding up the test to Jesse’s face, whose concerned look morphed into confusion. “Two lines? What’s two lines mean?”

“It means that I am certainly pregnant.” Jesse nodded slowly, waiting for Hanzo to give him more, to tell him how he was actually feeling about being pregnant. He led Hanzo to their couch and hugged him as they sat, waiting for him to say something, but when nothing came, he let Hanzo go and took it upon himself to start the conversation.

“Han, ya gotta talk to me about what’s goin’ through your mind. Ya look like you’re about to pass out, and I need to know why, I’m worried for ya. Are ya scared? Do ya not wanna have a baby? Cause if ya don’t wanna, that’s alright with—”

“I am…” Hanzo started, making Jesse stop dead in his train of thought. “I am not uncomfortable with this, if that is what you are afraid of. I think that I may actually be… _excited_. But it is all so muddled with everything else; I am scared, yes, but not for any reason other than I am, in fact, pregnant and have our child growing within me. Do…” Hanzo shifted uncomfortably and finally met Jesse’s eyes. “Do you wish to have a baby?” Jesse chuckled and hugged Hanzo again, holding him close and cradling the back of his head.

“It ain’t my body, Han; it’s yours, and what I say isn’t what goes. You have complete control of the reins here.” Hanzo clutched at Jesse’s shirt, heart beginning to swell with excitement at the idea of becoming a parent.

“What if I told you that I wished to have this one? Would that make you give me an answer?” Jesse pulled back and Hanzo flashed him a bright and slightly teary grin, which quickly spread to his face as well.

“If you wanna have it Han, then I’m with you all the way and I’ll love our baby with all my heart. You sure about this?”

“I have never been more certain than anything in my life.” With that, Jesse covered Hanzo’s face in kisses, the both of them laughing with glee over the fact that they were going to have a baby running around the house. The kisses eventually faded to Jesse giving gentle nuzzles against Hanzo’s neck, but Hanzo could feel his smile with each touch.

“So since that test worked, where’s that put you at week wise? Three-ish weeks?” Hanzo nodded and ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair, jumping a little when Jesse laid his hand across Hanzo’s stomach. “That makes conception… Lord, probably around that night that we talked about kids. So much for waiting, huh?”

“That is not fair, we waited.” Hanzo’s smile grew devilish as he continued to soothe Jesse’s locks. “For perhaps ten minutes.” That sent Jesse into howling with laughter, the vibrations of his mirth shaking Hanzo’s very core. He loved the way he laughed, and he was sure that the baby would come to love it too.

His laughter turned to giggles, which then turned back into kisses along Hanzo’s jaw as he rubbed Hanzo’s belly with the greatest amount of affection that he could muster. Hanzo laid his hand atop of Jesse’s and closed his eyes, focusing only on the touch of Jesse’s hand, until Jesse spoke up again just above a whisper.

“We gotta find ya an OB, Hanny. Especially if you’re already three weeks or more in.” Hanzo nodded, beginning to doze off from his long and exciting day, then gently ran his nails over Jesse’s hand.

“I think that I might already know who to call.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any tips/suggestions on how I could better write and represent a trans male character, please let me know!
> 
> Come chat with me on my Tumblr, @missboogirl.tumblr.com!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay, my schedule got stressful and I didn't have time to write; but here it is!
> 
> I'm also hoping to have another chapter out this Sunday to make up for the long break that I didn't mean to happen, so here's hoping I can stick to that like I hope to!

It didn’t take very much internet digging for Hanzo to find the OB that Genji had claimed he was dating; in fact, the hospital that he worked with appeared as the top result of his search. The yoga studio that he apparently taught at appeared as well, which Hanzo starred for later in case they offered pregnancy yoga, but clicked the first link instead. His employee page revealed his name to be Zenyatta Tekhartha, and beneath his name was a hefty list of medical acknowledgements and awards, along with his short biography.

“Damn,” Jesse muttered as he scrolled through the man’s achievements, “this guy’s _gotta_ be booked for the next couple of years; look at all these recognitions! I think we’re gonna have to find someone else, Han.”

“It would not hurt to at least call in. He _is_ the best in his field, after all.” Hanzo shook his head looking over the photo again; Zenyatta was a gentle-looking man with a soft smile, and had nine cyan dots tattooed across his forehead that popped against his dark skin. Honestly, he looked to be the embodiment of pure peacefulness. “I just cannot believe that Genji has fallen for someone like this. He does not seem like my brother’s… usual type.”

He thought briefly of all the people that Genji had brought back to the Shimada Palace during their younger years, not one of them coming even close to someone like Zenyatta. The others had all been artists, entrepreneurs, or something of the same breed; dangerous and exciting, as Genji had called them, but they never stuck around longer than a week or so before his brother tired of them and sent them on their way. Yet here he was, dating an esteemed doctor for close to a month; much longer than Hanzo had ever seen Genji allow himself to be tied to one person. He hoped that this time around, the relationship would last longer than simple infatuation, and that Genji wouldn’t try to run away from something long term as he had all the times before.

“Well, you know your brother,” Jesse’s warm voice brought Hanzo back to the present, "he likes just about anyone he thinks will give him a good time. Who knows, maybe this doctor’s more your brother’s type than he seems.” Hanzo playfully shoved him, exclaiming in disgust as Jesse laughed at the implication of this doctor being some kind of secret hardcore dom, then he continued: “All jokin’ aside, ya think maybe he could get us an easy in if we asked?” Hanzo shrugged and pressed himself against him, finding the doctor’s desk phone number with a bit more scrolling.

“Perhaps, but I would like to wait for an ultrasound before we tell anyone. I would hate to spread the news only to discover that something is wrong or that the test was just a false positive.” Jesse hummed as his hand found rest on Hanzo’s belly, the touch gentle and caring.

“Aww Han,” Jesse kissed Hanzo’s cheek and wrapped his other arm around his shoulders, “it’s gonna be okay, and the baby’s gonna be okay, but we can wait to tell if that’ll make ya feel better. Let’s just call the office and see if we can get in; havin’ that appointment set up might make you feel a little better.” Hanzo sighed and nodded, tapping the hyperlinked phone number and held the phone to his ear.

The dial tone didn’t ring for too long before a chipper sounding receptionist picked up and greeted Hanzo with the hospital’s scripted welcome. She had a heavy British accent and talked fast, but Hanzo caught that her name was Lena, along with her asking how she could help him. He apologized for the late call; it was nearly ten at night, but asked her when Doctor Tekhartha was next available, and if he could be squeezed in to see him soon.

She immediately started shooting him question after question about his pregnancy, medical history, medical family history, and any potential concerns he had so far before she clicked through her computer and informed him that she could get him in after another month. Hanzo questioned the far-off date almost as soon as the words came from her mouth, to which she laughed cheerily and told him that eight weeks was the standard time frame for a low-risk pregnancy, and even if he wasn’t exactly at eight weeks, they could at least tell him how far along he is. Those words instantly made him feel a little less wound up; hearing her call him a low-risk made everything seem like it was going to be alright; like everything wasn’t working against him to go wrong.

Hanzo asked her whatever extra things that popped into his head, such as what he should bring, how long he should expect to be there and what kind of tests they were going to run. After he couldn’t think of anything else, he gave Lena his and Jesse’s names and agreed to an appointment in a month, then gave her a quick goodbye and hung up. He opened his and Jesse’s shared digital calendar almost immediately after, typing away at a new event.

“Well?” Jesse asked with a lilt to his voice, watching Hanzo tap at his phone and fiddling with his own in anticipation.

“We’re in,” Hanzo said as soon as he sent off the event invite, “on the 30th of April at noon. I am to bring my medical history and they will perform an ultrasound to tell us how far along I actually am, and when my due date will be.” Jesse cheered and kissed Hanzo’s cheek, his excitement showing further as he bounced up and down on the couch. He stopped when Hanzo reached for his sleeve of crackers again, apologizing as he realized that the movements had made him nauseous, and settled for leaning his head upon Hanzo’s shoulder and wiggling against him.

“We’re gonna be dads, Han. Can you believe it?” Jesse ran his thumb over Hanzo’s belly, then continued in a whisper: “We’re gonna be _dads_.”

“It is like a dream,” Hanzo said through a mouthful of cracker, “if all dreams were filled with nausea, a constant need to pee, and a tiny human growing inside of me, that is.” Jesse laughed and kissed him again, this time on his temple, then stood up and offered him his hand.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s go catch some real dreams; it’s getting late. We can talk more about this tomorrow.” Hanzo smiled and took Jesse’s hand, letting himself be pulled up from his seat and led into the bedroom.

***

The appointment creeped up on Hanzo and Jesse much faster than they expected it would, even though the weeks of waiting were plagued with early morning vomiting and general misery on Hanzo’s end. The day of, Hanzo woke them both up especially early so that they’d be on time; the drive from the cabin to the office was nearly two hours long, and he wasn’t about to miss it just because they wanted to sleep in a little later. Jesse grumbled unhappily as Hanzo shook him out of his snoring, then he dashed off to the bathroom to shower before Jesse could even think to complain of the early hour.

When he was clean and his teeth were brushed, Hanzo left the bathroom to find something to wear, receiving a kiss to his cheek from Jesse as he sleepily stumbled pasted him in the doorway. He heard Jesse start the water and found one of his favorite pairs of pants, but as he tried to put them on, he found that they wouldn’t button. He scowled and removed them from his body; surely he hadn’t gained that much weight in a matter of weeks. He had cut down on the vigor of his workouts due to finding he was pregnant, but he hadn’t stopped all together. He tossed the pair away and grabbed another, trying them on and found a similar result, and continued trying pairs on until he heard Jesse clear his throat from behind him.

“Havin’ fun, sugar?” Jesse stood in the doorway with a mischievous smirk, arms folded across his chest as he watched Hanzo stare back at him over his shoulder, his pants around his knees.

“They do not fit,” Hanzo shucked the pants as he complained and fell back onto the bed again, “none of them fit. I cannot get them to button without strain, and even if I manage to get them fastened they are too tight to be comfortable.”

“Maybe you’re startin’ to get that baby weight everyone talks about?” Jesse suggested as he walked over and started rummaging through their drawers, trying to help find something that would fit. Hanzo huffed in annoyance as Jesse handed him a pair of leggings and a striped t-shirt, then patted his head in an attempt at playful consolation. “Try those on sugar, and I’ll go take my shower. If those still don’t fit, have a look through my stuff; I’m sure there’ll be somethin’ of mine that’ll fit ya.”

_I could have found my own damn leggings_ , he thought to himself as he watched Jesse disappear into the bathroom, then tried to shake the thought from his head; it wasn’t Jesse’s fault that his clothes didn’t fit him anymore, not really. He took a few deep breaths, feeling the frustration slowly ebb away, then pulled on the leggings, which was almost a perfect fit despite being a little snug.

Then he tried the shirt, and his anger quickly returned; the midsection was just as tight and uncomfortable as the pants had been. He stood and went to their full-length mirror, standing sideways as he tried to see why on Earth this was happening, only to find the same thing as he had been for the past week: his bloated stomach sticking out from gas. He pressed on his belly in an attempt to get some of the gas to shift, only to find it was firm and didn’t give at all to the force of his fingers. His eyebrow cocked in confusion; this hadn’t happened earlier, but before he could think too much about it the bathroom door opened again and he heard Jesse quietly gasp. Hanzo spun around and gestured to his stomach, trying to show Jesse how ridiculous his clothing was behaving.

“Jesse, look at this!” His would’ve been whining quickly died in his throat when he saw that Jesse was misty eyed and covering his mouth. “Is… Is everything alright? Why do you look so close to tears?”

“Ya got a little baby bump, darlin’.” The statement was simple, but the amount of pure adoration that its words dripped with stunned Hanzo and made his eyes go wide.

“I do?” Hanzo’s eyes darted to his belly as Jesse weaved around their bed, kissing Hanzo’s head as soon as he was close enough. Upon a second look, he realized that Jesse was right; what he had wasn’t gas, he was starting to show. “I _do_. I did not think that this would happen so soon… everywhere I read told me that I wouldn’t get one until much later.”

“Look at ya! Ya look so good, sweetheart; you’re absolutely glowin’.” Jesse’s voice wavered as he spoke, and Hanzo couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment; he wasn’t used to Jesse near _crying_ over how he looked. “Ya musta popped a while ago and we just didn’t realize.”

“I must have,” Hanzo laughed as Jesse knelt before him and kissed at his belly, his scruffy beard tickling his skin. “Jesse, please-- ah! That tickles, what are you doing?”  

“I wanted to say hello to our kiddo now that I can finally see when I’m supposed to talk,” he pulled Hanzo’s shirt up and over his tiny bump and kissed the newly exposed skin once more before continuing in a gentle voice, “I do it all the time now when I can’t sleep, but now I know where I gotta point my voice. Hey there, sweet pea,” Jesse ran his thumbs over the top of Hanzo’s belly and moved his mouth close enough that Hanzo could nearly feel his lips brush against him, “I know ya probably can’t hear me yet, but I wanted to tell ya how excited I am to see ya in a few months, and that ya got the most handsome daddy carryin’ ya around right now.” Hanzo gently palmed at Jesse’s forehead, pushing him back as Hanzo felt his cheeks burn. “What? I’m tellin’ ‘em the truth!”

“Truth or not, _you_ still must get ready to go; you cannot meet Doctor Tekhartha in a towel.” Hanzo offered Jesse a hand, which he took, and Jesse’s knees cracked in protest with the shift of his weight. Hanzo tugged on the hem of his shirt while Jesse complained about “getting too old for standing,” his cheeks still feeling like they were on fire. “I would also like to argue that _you_ are this baby’s most handsome father, though I appreciate the sentiment.” _That_ had Jesse absolutely beaming.

“Aww shucks, sweetheart, that’s mighty flatterin’ of ya.” Jesse pulled him in for a quick and tight squeeze, then whispered in his ear: “But you know for a fact that if we start playin’ the ‘you’re-the-most-handsome-no-you-are’ game, I’m gonna win by a landslide. Best give up now and accept that you’re the prettiest thing my eyes ever did fall on.” Hanzo couldn’t help but snort and accept defeat as Jesse laid his accent on thick, and Jesse beamed again over Hanzo’s snort and the way it made his nose crinkle.

“Fine, very well. But we will play that game again later and I will win, that I promise you.” Hanzo tugged gentle at the hem of his shirt, trying to give his skin even the slightest amount of breathing room. “But for now, may I borrow one of your shirts? Mine fit about as well as my pants do.”

“Of course, sugar. Take whichever one ya like. Maybe we can go shoppin’ for new clothes after the doctor’s if we get out early enough, and eat in town. Sound good?” Hanzo hummed in agreement as he rifled through their closet, pulling one of Jesse’s red plaids from its hanger and put it on. It was way too big, but at least it gave him plenty of wiggle room. “I love that one on ya, Hanny. But ya know, I also love takin’ that one off ya, too.” Jesse winked and waggled his eyebrows in a sarcastically suggestive way, which Hanzo responded to with a faux-offended gasp.

“Mister McCree! Not in front of the child!” They both laughed at their little exchange as Jesse picked out what he was going to wear, and once he was fully clothed and ready they headed for the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any tips/suggestions on how I could better write and represent a trans male character, please let me know!
> 
> Come chat with me on my Tumblr, @missboogirl.tumblr.com!

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any tips/suggestions on how I could better write and represent a trans male character, please let me know!


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